Here we are: 8 months after welcoming my first into the world, a joyous and rambunctious little boy. Everything I knew to be true before baby looks different now. My priorities are different. Sleep has changed. My diet has evolved. Exercise is different. My relationships have changed course. And my body looks different, too.
Like most new moms, I have some extra skin around my middle. My hips are wider than before. I’m carrying a bit less muscle and a bit more bodyfat. Sure, there are changes I would like to see in my body. It’s not the best conditioning I’ve ever had. But I’m not trying to “get my body back”. That’s not actually possible; that body doesn’t exist anymore. The person who lived in that body doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t have a plan to follow. I’m eating good foods that make me feel vibrant; like veggies, green smoothies and local pastured meats. I’m also eating amazing cookies, chocolate and drinking wine. I’m hitting the gym once in a while, walking and doing yoga, because my body feels great when I move it. I’m also enjoying time on the couch, in bed, and playing on the floor. Because quality time and rest feel great too.
I’m trying to sleep well to support healthy hormones, but I wake a lot during the night too. I get some selfcare in now and then, but I’m stressed out, too.
But you know what? It’s ok. I feel good. Because my body and me, we’re on the same side. I’m not chasing body before baby. I’ve set my sights on a new body, one that reflects who I am right now:
A body with strong arms to carry my sleep ninja through darkened hallways another thousand times.
A body with sturdy legs to support a determined stander-upper when he needs to lean for a minute.
A body with shoulders built for resting a heavy head on while eyelids blink slower, slower, slower… and shut.
And a body with a heart strong enough to withstand every moment of mother-panic and soft enough to give all the love I can, and then some.
Right now, that’s the body I’m working towards. Someday, aesthetic goals will find their way into the foreground again. Until then (and even then!), my body is perfect. She and I, we’ve got this.